Losing a pet is a very traumatic time for pet owners, it could be through old age, illness or even an accident.  None of the reasons why your pet has died are easy to deal with.

I would like to help you through the difficult times by explaining how I have coped and why we shouldn't feel guilty when we grieve so badly for the loss of a pet. People who have never owned a pet sometimes think we are being overly sentimental, it is not till you lose a pet that you will realise just how big a part of your life dies with them.

Do you remember your first pet that died, I do at the age of about 6 we had a small goldfish called, 'Goldie', it was in those days that you could win them at fairs in a little plastic bag. He/she did very well for a few months, we bought a bowl a nice round one with a little bridge and weed. Called his name when it was time for a feed and Goldie obligingly came to the surface to eat. I of course thought he actually heard  me! But alas it was deemed to be by our shadow and repetitiveness, that he got to know it was feeding time. He sadly got a fungal disease, most probably though lack of our knowledge on how to care for him. his departure was sad, but at the age of 6 I soon recovered and we got our first mouse, Snowy.

Now Snowy was a different pet entirely. He was loved by the whole family, call his name and he would scamper out to see us, he had a strange open cage with a little house, this stood on a tray of sawdust on a small table, just like a litle island. He had access at all times to his field of sawdust and lived like a king. We were very lucky he lived till he was two and half years old, he had a bit of stiffness sometimes and sadly died in his sleep. This had a big affect on not only me but my parents as well. This secured him a proper burial in a little cardboard box in the garden. Unlike poor Goldie who just slipped into the toilet with out much fuss. Over my childhood years several more pets, mice, hamsters,rabbits, guinea pigs and cats all found their way into our garden.

As you get older you find it harder when pets pass away, as a child a new pet will quickly distract them from their loss, sometimes the parents find it harder as they have been the ones that have really been looking after the pets, we struggle to overcome our grief but children seem to have a built in  mechanisim which helps them to cope, yes  a few days crying but they soon move on to the next pet that is brought in to replace the out going pet.

In latter life it might take more that a few days before you come to terms with your loss. Cats and dogs after all can live to 18yrs, which is a huge chunk of your life. These are the hardest of all to comes to term with. I  had a dog called 'Benson' (Saluki  x Collie) which lived to 18 and a half,  he was almost blind, couldn't hear a thing,  but his quality of life was still good,  two short walks a day, the same route so he knew where the hazards were, he hadn't lost any of his toilet needs. He also had quite a traumatic operation to his head to remove a lump at the age of 15. It had a white stripe between his ears, and when I asked the vet how Benson was afterwards, he just smiled and said surprised (it had brought his ears closer together giving him a surprised look). He was the first dog that I had lost as an adult, it was devastating, he had to be euthanised as he awoke one morning and it was obvious that he had suffered a stroke.

I had never experienced this so I was absolutely bereft, we put Benson in the car, still in his dog bed and went to the vets. Having a good relationship with your vet is vital, not only when your pet is well and just having injections, but for the times when your pet is ill and needs care.  The vet explained what would happen, Benson was to be given an injection, this would make him fall asleep gently, no pain just a sleep that would get deeper and deeper till he slipped away. What he didn't say was that Benson might snore, well it brought a small piece of humour into a very sad day. I held him throughout the procedure and stayed with him for awhile  afterwards. It was the best decision I have ever made, I was the last person that he knew that was there for him.  He died shortly after my Father had passed away, so although I grieved  for him I was still grieving the loss of my Father so his passing was a merged grief.

It isn't a horrible experience but it helps you understand your loss and I think helps you grieve. I would much rather lose a pet to old age and have them euthanised at the right time for them, than lose a pet in an accident. 

Sonny Boy (Greyhound x Wolfhound) was an absolutely maniac as most Lurchers are, he was white with tan patches, not much of a coat so had to wear an adapted sweat shirt at night to keep him warm in the winter. He was an absolute darling of a dog, A typical Greyhound couch potato, who was very tactile and needed to be attached to one of us (me mostly) if he was lying down on the couch!  But with the speed and escapology of Houdini if he was out and about, this of course eventually led to his RTA.

I didn't witness it, but my partner Malcolm did. I just got the call at work telling me he that Sonny had been in an accident and to get to the vets straight away. Of course I didn't get there in time and he was too badly injured and had to be euthanised. This took me absolutely months to get over, we had only had him for 2 yrs and he had been another rescue dog from Bellmead. He was bought over from Ireland by the RSPCA as he was found wandering with sore pads, he was shipped over to England as they thought he would have a better chance of being rehomed. He was given to Bellmead  and  we saw him and bonded straight away, he was a very special boy, who was adorable and was definately my dog, like Benson before him  (Benson was 8yrs when he met Malcolm)

I wasn't too keen to get another dog straight away as it was just before Christmas and rescue centres are not too keen for dogs and cats to be given new homes at Christmas tiime as it is unsettling with excited children, Christmas trees etc. So we waited till the New Year and saw Monty our current dog at Bellmead. he was a mans dog, (GSD x Collie) he adored Malcolm and although it took me a couple of months to bond with him completely I wouldn't change him for the world.

I have also lost a cat  'MIsty' to an RTA, which I sadly witnessed although heart breaking as she died before we could get her to the vets, not something you can ever get used to and I was very upset but after a week or two I was starting to get over her loss. You do eventually feel better but small things that remind you of them can spark a tearful spell. Misty was only 9months old and already had to be treated for a broken leg, it was still pinned when she died.

We waited till we moved to a quieter area before getting another cat, she is called Tinker. She was introduced to Monty at 12 weeks old, he accepted her straight away, She wasn't frightened as she came form a farm with lots of dogs, chickens horses and other cats But it was a bit of a surprise, but she adores Monty, follows him around and they sleep next to each other, Monty is now approaching 11yrs old, Tinker is approaching her 7th year, I hope they will remain together for as long as possible